The Day We Celebrated Ben

(Written and shared on Facebook in 2019)

Today we celebrate the life of our sweet Benjamin.

We’re having a memorial at our church, followed by dinner at our home.

The planning began on our second day at the hospital after our priest came to visit and bless our sweet boy.

It sounded like a beautiful idea four weeks ago, but to be honest I have been dreading it ever since.

A planner in my former biz life and I’ve never wanted to plan an event less.

Thankfully my amazing husband, family and friends were here to step in.

This past week was very hard.

It rained nearly every day. Dark days are hard during dark times.

As this weekend’s celebration neared, friends and family would ask about the weather for Sunday’s event.

A tent outside in Michigan is always a gamble.

I didn’t check the forecast once, knowing my Benny would make sure the sun was shining.

It rained again last night, but this morning as the clouds roll away and the sun starts to peek out I can feel him.

For the first time, I can feel his presence.

Hi mama, I’m here, and I’m shining down on you today.

I’ve come to find that grief is strange that way.

You’re constantly looking for a reason. A sign. A message.

I’ve been wondering when Ben would visit me in a dream or appear in some unexpected way.

It has happened here and there over the past month, but especially today — I feel you my sweet boy.

I love you.