Grief and COVID

(Written and posted on Facebook, March 17, 2020 at the start of COVID Lockdown)

I feel drained energetically and it’s no surprise to me why. 

I’ve been on social media more in the past 72 hours than I have in the past 6 months.

To be honest, after I lost Ben I just didn’t feel like there was anything important enough to share. 

After all, I had spent my entire pregnancy (and then some) posting constantly. Day after day, sharing pieces of my life and everything I could to inspire others.

When it all came crashing down nothing felt significant enough. Nothing was as important as keeping my eyes off my screen and on my family.

So for the past 6 month I’ve been silent and (mostly) still. Nothing to do, no one to be.

Just at home. Yes, I was working from home, but mostly I was working on myself and my relationship to my new, slower life.

And now here we ALL are.

There’s this little part of me that wants to welcome you all to this strange, but beautiful place I’ve been for the past 6 months.

It’s a slower, less involved place, but there’s a lot to learn here.

And in some odd way, the weight of the collective consciousness at this moment in time is pulling me forward. Begging me to push past the fear, to write and connect and uplift others — myself included. 

So I’ll just start here by saying, you’re going to be ok. We’re all going to be ok.

If you are healthy and everyone you love is healthy, enjoy this brief moment of stillness. You’ll be thankful for it later.